Hi Michaela! Wow I am so excited for your storybook! It looks like you’ve done this before. What a great idea to tie in the Brothers Grimm and the Indian Epics. I enjoy mixing and matching stories to complete one world. I read through your story with ease. The font and color of your text was creative without being distracting. I cannot wait for the future stories. I’m glad you tied in your other Storybook characters. You’ve connected with them already so the voice in your writing is strong. Are you going to stick with stories from the Ramayana and the Mahabharata or will you explore other characters and stories as well? I’m honestly trying to think of something to suggest changing but I don’t have any suggestions at this point. Maybe title the Introduction post as Introduction? That was the only thing that kind of confused me a bit when I initially entered your site but other than that I don’t have any suggestions. Great job and I can’t wait to read more!!
I liked how you created a thread between western fairytales/epics and Indian ones. It's interesting that you created another character who doesn't feel entirely up to the task of helping some ancient royalty. Protagonists wary to help are often more fascinating than characters who are basically superhuman (such as Rama). I would suggest changing the order of the first story so that the protagonist describes his being kidnapped before he goes into the background of his family. It would help create tension. Right now, the family background doesn't really catch my interest me like a kidnapping would. In terms of the design of your website, I'd highly recommend changing the color of the font you use in the story, as well as the type of font. The red font is really difficult to read and it kind of strains my eyes. A parchment-color background would help if you were to change the font color.
Hi Michaela! I enjoy the way in which you write. Your style of writing is similar to the way we talk and therefore it makes following your story very easy. I have never heard or seen the show The Grimm Brothers before but I am very intrigued as to how you will adapt your story to the original show. Although this is not a romance story, I wonder how Charlotte and John met in the first place since Charlotte would usually be out cleaning up the mess of her brothers. Did John also fight monsters before he met Charlotte? Maybe you could add a little more of a backstory as to how they came to meet each other. This would also help to provide a more in depth backstory of who John is as a person. Now some critiques on the layout of your storybook. The red font against the black background was a bit straining on the eyes. I understand you are trying to create an ominous feel so maybe you could change the red into a lighter red? That way you still keep with the red theme you have going on but there will be more of a contrast so it will be easier on the eyes. With that being said, overall, I like the way you decided to start your storybook. I look forward to watching you expand on it.
Hello Micheal! I really like your first part of your story book! The cover picture was very cool and put me into the mindset that I was about to embark on an amazing adventure! That being said I loved the way you set up your main character in your story where he had a back ground with the Grimm Brothers. That give you the perfect experience to help all of the hero's that you want John to help in the rest of your story! The dialog that was shown in this was awesome! Without actually having any adventures yet you have already expressed at least how Rama and Lakshmana are going to act throughout this story! This leads me to wonder what kind of roll the Pandavas brothers are going to have to beat Ravanna in this storybook? I also have thoughts of how Johns wife will impact this story? Maybe she will give them ideas of how to get into his castle or maybe even being the person to dig them out of the castle in they get trapped in it! You left me with a lot of question which I am excited to find out! Awesome job!
First of all, I absolutely love the picture that you have on the cover of your storybook! It is beautiful! Second of all, I love how you took the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm and combined them with the stories of Rama and his brothers. I think it is a very unique combination and I am excited to read more and see how you combine the two styles of adventures. While I am reading your intro I am having a hard time figuring out if you are telling it from the point of view of a character that is already in the stories or if you are telling it from the point of view of an entirely new character. I haven't read on in your stories so I don't know if you explain who your character is or not but, while I like the secrecy of not completely telling who a character is, a little clarification may be helpful. Otherwise I felt that your story was fun and playful and I really enjoyed it! Looking forward to reading more!
Michaela, this sounds like a great idea! I am excited to see where you end up taking this story and I really like the framework you have provided. I am interested to see how the story within a story theme plays out and I am curious to see if this will become a story about passing several trials to achieve the ultimate goal of finding Charlotte, or if this will become a story about Charlotte finding the narrator, or if it will become something entirely different. I wonder if you might be able to make a map of all the adventures that the narrator goes on, just something that could indicate where the narrator is versus where Charlotte is. That seems a bit complicated, but it was just this idea that dawned on me after reading your introduction. What if you could find a way to further incorporate your previous storybook into this one?
Your name is alliterated and that is neat. Are you sure you weren't created by Stan Lee? If you have superpowers you might want to check.
I'm kind of confused about one thing. I'm 99% sure I know what's going on, but I just want to check. The link to your other storybook was from the other mythology class right? I can't imagine you just made one for funzies.
The use of Lakshmana as John's foil is pretty good. Are the Pandavas going to help with the war on Ravana too? I read it as them being at the same camp together.
Going off these comments, I think most people didn't hop over to your older site to read it. You might want to move the link higher. Obviously, another idea is do some sort of recap. The struggle is doing that without it sounding like John is spouting exposition. You did put hyperlinks in there, but it seems like maybe everyone didn't use them.
I didn't get through all your old stories, but were there any villains there that could track John to this new world too? The only reason I ask is because a villain of that world thinking he's the big bad then standing before celestial beings would be pretty funny. Like if Mr. Hyde bumped into Superman.
I really liked how the theme of your storybook went with the theme of your entire page. I am looking forward to reading more of yours stories! I have been reading your stories that you post on your blogs, and absolutely love them. I am expecting the same from your project, and I know for a fact that I won't be disappointing. I find the topic to be incredibly intriguing as well! I would never have thought to put together something like you did! It is incredibly unique. I always enjoy how you bring everything together in a story, I find that everything falls into place and even clarifies what the original often does not. Will you be using any of the past ideas from your old stories and adding them to your new stores? I am very excited to see where your website goes as it continues. Good luck!
Hey, Michaela, After reading your intro post, “Not Quite Brothers”, I’m definitely on board to hear more about what happens to the third kind-of-Brother Grimm among the Indian heroes. (I hope I get to see Charlotte in the first story!) I thought it was funny that John Grimm knows he’s out of his depth coming up against a whole army of demons. This is a neat choice for a story swap, and I’m excited to see what how Grimm’s stories play into the Indian epics we’ve been reading. The main thing that might help me track with your introduction would be a more careful sense of chronology. Often, when we have a story, an essay, or a character already formulated in our heads, we accidentally take that knowledge for granted and forget to bring the reader in one step at a time. For example, your third sentence: “My name was John Christiansen, but I took the Grimm surname when WE married”. Since Charlotte doesn’t appear for two more sentences, I don’t know who “we” is yet. You might include that information here instead, and say something like: “…when I married their little sister Charlotte.” Then, when you continue to lay out family dynamics, I’m already clued in to the different relationships. In your third, fourth, and fifth paragraphs, the jump from “I was kidnapped, now I’m surrounded by these weird people” to “apparently they need my help” and then BACK to “the last thing I remember” is a little counter-intuitive for me. You might want to start with “The last thing I remember…” and then move onto who he’s surrounded by and what they want. Thanks for the story; I’m looking forward to reading more!
Hi again! Wow, what a storybook intro! I'm looking forward to checking back in and reading more of it as you work on the whole project more!
I really enjoyed the almost stream-of-consciousness style of writing that you put forth here. It was a quick, hurried, semi-crazed read that sets up a pretty good tone for what John's probably feeling as an abducted Watson figure to Charlotte's sherlock character. I agree with Grant, a bit, however, that it would probably be a good idea to somehow ease the reader into these ideas a little bit. Or maybe that's the point, shock value of all these crazy stories about Rama and Lakshmana and Arjuna, and then you'll expound on it later in the project? It would be an effective style if that's what you're aiming for. I am familiar with all of the stories you were referencing, but I found myself squinting one eye closed and thinking back pretty hard to place some of the stories into the references that you were throwing out there. On the other hand, though, it was really neat to see how well you meshed nearly everything we've read so far in the semester into one world, and create John's character. I'm excited to see how Charlotte comes into play here. You'll left us with a great cliff-hanger!
Hey, I am just replying to your comment that you left on my introduction. Yeah I just tried to put everything down that I could think of and that I liked. I have onyl traveled to India, Canada, and Bahamas. I am trying to visit more hopefully soon, but we shall see what happens. I actually did not know that but it does make sense. I just didn't think about it at all.
Hey I really enjoyed reading your storybook. It was very interesting and unique, and I particularly liked that you combined both American and Indian stories to create your own. Plus your story would help the readers understand from an outsiders point of view,since John was an outsider too. It was good how you had all of the heros in one space as well, like rama, lakshamana, ajrun and his brothers. It would be easy to get them all mixed up if you are hearing about them for the first time but I really like your idea of having an outsider helping them all in their own stories. I think it might have helped someone if you added descriptions in your story. This way they could see exactly what you were seeing when your wrote the story. It was great how you put everything together and I look forward to reading about Charlotte and how she adds to this equation.
Ahhh, at first I couldn't tell where your were going with the your storybook but the more I read the more I understood where you were coming from. I have to agree with everyone else in that combining western culture stories with Indian stories is very clever. The black and red color scheme of your site almost seems daunting but your writing is very bubbly and humorous at times. I like how you changed the font as you go from Charlotte's point of view to Johns. It makes is much easier to follow the story line. Your site is easily naviagable. You may want to try and center your picture of Ravana, not sure if you meant to align it with your story or not. It will be interesting to see how John makes it home.. or if he makes it home at all! I will just have to come back to find out.
Hi again! I already commented on your intro but I'm glad I got to go to your storybook again this week because I was really looking forward to your next story. First off, I want to start with your author’s note! It was really helpful in understanding how you adapted the story. I’m glad you explained the last section going back to Charlotte’s voice in search of her husband. This might be clearer if in that last section you explained she had made it to India because I was a little confused when she said “here” because while reading from Josh’s perspective I forgot that the beginning said she was about to land. Also maybe labeling “Charlotte Grimm:” like you did at the top would make it even clearer. As for the story, you did a great rendition. I enjoyed how you had Josh be a major part of Rama’s fulfillment of his destiny. It’s kind of funny thinking that maybe Rama wouldn’t have won if it weren’t for Josh’s secret help! Great story and I can’t wait to read more.
Hey Michaela! I knew it was you immediately as soon as I started reading! I am glad to have another person that took Myth and Folklore last semester here. Your stories last semester were so creative and fun, so I am ecstatic to read some more this semester. Your introduction does a great job of trying to bring in material from last semesters’ Storybook and where John will be going on his new adventures. I liked that you decided to tie your two worlds together and that you had a link at the bottom of your Introduction. A few people have mentioned moving the link, but I think that the hyperlinks in your introduction do a good job of giving the hint this is from a previous project. I would try and tighten up the storyline a little near the end of the introduction however. It does get a little rambly for the readers, so I would pick and choose which comments about the campsite are most important and then go from there! I loved the photos you chose for the home page and I cannot wait to read more!
The title of your storybook is what initially drew me in. I love the Brothers Grimm and all of their stories. Likewise, I really enjoyed your first story.
The theme of your storybook is very unique, and full of possibilities. I particularly liked how you incorporated John into the battle with Ravana because I always wondered how such a feared demon King was defeated so easily once his army was out of the way. I had similar feelings about the battle between Arjuna and Karna, so maybe that could be another story. There is so much build up to a quick death. I only noticed a few typos in your story. In the second paragraph of John's part, you misspell Lanka Lanak. Also, you say Rama was "secreted" away into his tent. I'm not sure what you meant by this word. Maybe you meant in secret, but this word choice makes me think of secretion instead.
I really liked the title of your storybook and theme. It immediately drew me in and I was interested from the start. I liked the battle with John and Ravana and any more details you would like to add would strengthen the story itself. As far as other edits for the story, I was only able to notice a few spelling and punctuation errors but those can be easily fixed by one more proofreading out loud. I think that your author's note was extremely helpful in making all of the connections and making everything seem even more clear. One aspect that I really liked was that Charlotte and Johns point of view were signified by a different font. I found it easier to follow with the change in font when a different person is speaking. I also loved the photos that you chose and I look forward to reading more!
I chose your storybook again for my third option because I just loved the idea you came up with and I really wanted to see more of how you tied the Brothers Grimm stories into the Indian epics! Going to your second story I really love how you have a small part from the point of view of the sister. And just from the first line of it I think I already know which story you are going to be using for this! Or at least what story it came after. I also really like and appreciate the fact that you name who it is that we are reading the point of view from. I remember I said something about having a problem figuring out who was speaking in my last comment. I love the way you write too! Its like we are just sitting in and listening to the thoughts of someone, which is kind of cool to me! Excellent job, can't wait to read more!
Loved the new story. It was a nice touch to keep Charlotte involved in her own way. Tying it together with a prophecy was good too. I'm curious to see if he'll see any crazy magical stuff. Guys moving mountains, stepping over oceans, shooting an arrow around the world etc. I also hope you manage to squeeze a comedy-horror story somehow! I liked the stories on your other blog and I dug those.
Hello Michaela! Want to start off this commit by saying sorry for botching up your name in the first commit that I left on this wall a few weeks ago! Now that I got that out of the way I really enjoyed the second attachment to this storybook! The new version of the story about Rama and Ravana was great I really love John in your story. You give him a very unique personality that I really enjoy. I like how you only showed the backstage of the entire battle instead of focusing on the parts that everyone in the class knows already. I thought it was very clever that you had John sneak into the palace and do a few adjustments to Ravana’s chariot and armor. Along with a lot of humor in the mix of the story made this a very interesting read for me. Great job and can’t wait to read the rest of the storybook.
This StoryBook is getting soooooo good! Thanks for the excellent writing! I have a small struggle in keeping up with this part from Rama's problems: "I can say the demon overlord snores like a thunderstorm. I could probably race a chariot through the room and he wouldn’t so much as snort. Which gave me an idea… unfortunately, I couldn’t enact it immediately because the doorknob started to rattle. Furthermore, the freaking servant stayed in the room until after dawn and the war began anyway. However, Ravana did not join the fighting so I formulated a plan."
So, He's in the room... and then the servant comes into the room? And John's stuck, now, because he can't leave because the servant is keeping guard? This was a little confusing. So, now John is sneaking around Ravana's castle/camp and messing with things while the war gets started? I am just looking for a timeframe + where John is clarity marker here.
Rama's Problem is really, really good! I appreciated that we know that Charlotte's begun the hunt, which was very cool to read, and I liked how you just had John retell the battle as it was told to him by Lakshamana (naturally). It was a really clever idea to have it foretold in a prophecy that a foreigner would help in the battle, and John's helping to fulfill the gods' destinies!
Draupadi’s Quandry: We’re* just about to arrive in the city of Virata…. Small spelling mistake there. This story is really, really great! I loved that you highlighted this troublesome plot whole and scapegoated John for the whole thing. Where does he go? Is this his escape? What happens next?! You've definitely left me wanting to read more!
I tend to like diary and memoir format adaptations of the epics we've been reading in class and this was no exception. It reads like a novelization of the events in the Mahabharata. I can imagine, say, Arjuna writing about his experiences and providing it with a lyricism of language that the prose versions sometimes lacked. You did a really good job of providing the personal perspective of each character. I doubt it was easy sewing together all the perspectives and stories of these numerous characters. The only significant suggestion that I would make is to provide a greater degree of separation between the sections in the first chapter, "Arjuna." Although there are suggestive statements like "Abhimanyu is ten," it's not always clear exactly how much time has passed between the different sections. Overall, though, I think this is an excellent storybook. I can't wait to read more when you add to it.
Hello again. This week I skimmed over your previous stories that I have read before to freshen my memory before I started in on Draupadi's Quandary and I like how we are following John's adventure through the Indian epic stories. I also like how we know just how close charlotte is to John but she is always just one town too late. Once thing that is kind of hard to follow is that Charlotte and John have different last names so sometimes I forget that she is John's husband. It is also kind of funny because John is acting like the damsel in distress, waiting for his wife to save him but he does nothing what so ever to help her! I want to be like dude! Leave some kind of trail behind or make a signal or something! I might suggest naming/ labeling your stories with a chapter 1, and so on, and so on. This just helps the reader know if they are reading the story in the correct order.
Back again for round 3!! This is by far my favorite storybook! Your third attachment was awesome! I had been waiting for the Pandavas brothers to make an appearance in the story. I really liked the choice of the story that you did! Bhima I my favorite character that we as a class have read together. The way you use John in this story to be the escape goat I thought was great instead of just keeping to the original story. I enjoy how you are able to add John’s humor throughout the story it makes it really interesting to see how he is able to flawlessly stumble his way out on sticky situations in your stories. At the end of this story I am interested to see how the story is going to end and whether or not Charlotte is going to be able to ever find John. I am kind of half hoping that somehow all of the main characters will be together at one time so that they can all team up and take out the some kind of evil. Might be really cool to see all of these great heroes come together and have them all shown up by Charlotte and John! Anyways I really enjoyed it! Will be back next week!
"Rama's Problem" is a great second installment in your storybook. The outsider's take that John Christiansen provides is great, and full of nice touches. (I especially like this passage: "Everything has to be done with honor and dignity and whatnot. So that means Rama is preparing for war and the army is getting drunk on rice-honey wine.") Overall, John's tone and attitude are fantastic, really well developed. Having him secretly rig the wheels on Ravana's chariot is a great addition to the original story, too: it provides a character-driven explanation for what is otherwise just random chance and bad luck. I think your framing device holds up pretty well, too! Having him dropped off at the hut again will let you branch out into other stories. Well-transitioned! At the end of it all, he's "back to square one".
Just one spot you might want to revisit: John hears the doorknob rattle, and then says, "Furthermore, the freaking servant stayed in the room". But the reader didn't know a servant ("THE servant") had entered in the first place. A quick fix would be to add a phrase: "the freaking servant WHO CAME IN stayed in the room..."
I like John and Charlotte's relationship more and more all the time. Can't wait to read more!
I’m really enjoying your storybook so far! The approach that you are taking is different than most of the other stories I’ve been reading. I like that you are using the original characters from the epics and changing up the points of view that the stories are told from. It was really fun to read. I also liked how you poked fun at some of the elements of epics, such as how difficult of a word “Rakshasas” is and how Rama’s army was comprised of monkeys and bears. These ideas were so commonplace in the original epics, I thought it was fun that you had a character stop and question them. That was a creative idea and it added some comedy! I like the personalities that your characters are developing. They are a little sassy and that makes it even more fun to read. You are doing an awesome job so far. I can’t wait to read more!
I am shocked that I haven't had the opportunity to read this storybook yet so I am absolutely thrilled to experience it this week! To start, I just wanted to compliment the picture you decided to use for your cover. It's crazy to think places like this actually exist so it's always nice getting to experience the beauty of our earth. I read all three of your passages and I loved them! My favorite story was easily the Bhima story simply because he was one of my favorite characters from the epic! It's always nice to get to read story about him! To add to my appreciation for the story, it happened to include one of my favorite plot points from the epic! The story was everything that I enjoy from reading all of these posts with its own unique element. Overall, I really enjoy the approach you are using for your storybook and I'm excited to see the finished product around the time of the end of the semester. Great work!
I love the Sister Grimm idea haha! I need to find some time to check out your earlier storybook now! Poor John and Charlotte though! They just can't seem to catch a break. I love the way John solves all the problems and seems to just impulsively run into situations. If only Charlotte were there to help him! I also really like the situations you chose to put him in because they all seemed like believably solvable things for a normal human. The way you alternated from Charlotte's point of view and John's point of view was really nice too! I liked seeing Charlotte's quest to get John back. I'm also really excited for the next story! Kali sounds like an interesting goddess and I would love to see what adventures they'll get up to together. Just one aesthetic comment, the red on black is a little harsh at times and makes it slightly difficult to read for me, but it's not too important! Overall great job!
Hello Michaela, I just finished reading your story book “My Brothers Grimm: India Edition” and I thought it was pretty entertaining. I would like to start my commenting with my number one complaint regarding your story: the red font. I am not a fan of this color for font because it made the story so difficult to read. I found myself trying so hard to concentrate that I was neglecting to actually retain anything that I have read. This caused me to go back and re-read the same sentence multiple times in order to get the content. I think a normal white background and black font would be better suited for your story book. Other than the font this story was very entertaining. I would have liked to hear more about the different adventures John and Charlotte had while saving her brothers from danger. Grammatically speaking this was a very well written paper.
Hey, Michaela! Glad to catch up with your storybook again this week. Here are a few thoughts I had on Disaster #2:
“his ‘beloved’ sister”—a good insight into what might have been going on there. Why would the queen feel so compelled to send Draupadi to him, if not partially out of fear? Your character’s casual fly-on-the-wall comments help fill in a lot of gaps in motivations.
“Honestly, I just wanted to talk, but what is it they say about the best laid plans? Charlotte probably knows.” Love to see that you’re keeping up this kind of humor! Perfect call-back with Charlotte’s note at the end. I think it teeters on heavy-handed in the next paragraph, though; I would hope our hero would keep at least a scrap of bravado, even if he recognizes that Charlotte is Some Kind of Woman.
I think you chose a great story to retell. I remember reading the Mahabharata and feeling dissatisfied with the explanation for how Bhima managed to get away with that murder. (Wouldn’t there be a full investigation of all the burly men in the palace, especially those who had only been there a year?) Again, John really is a great device smoothing out plot wrinkles. Good thinking!
Hi Michaela! Wow, this went in a totally different direction than I anticipated. I initially thought it would be about Grimmm fairy tales (and of course there are pieces of Grimm in your version) but I loved the creativity in your storybook! I'm really confused though. Is your storybook based off of another storybook and acting as a sort of continuation? I love the extra humor that the step-brother brings to the world of the Ramayana. "Don’t judge me. Charlotte is at least ninety percent of my impulse control." LOL love it. I also like how in the first story, you not only describe the scene that John's trying to deal with, you also give an update on Charlotte's end. The third story was also really great. How the two go back and forth trying to find each other was so perfect!
It's so strange how a weird bird decided to take him on this journey. Perhaps the next chapters will tell something about why he was taken?
Hi Michaela! I really like that you are writing your storybook in a fairytale sort of fashion! I always loved reading fairytales when I was growing up, so it's a lot of fun getting to read your Indian epics version. I think that this is a great way to think about the Indian epics differently. It's easy to read them and only see them the way that the author wrote, but by switching things up it's easy to see them from different sides. I really enjoy how you have included what Charlotte is doing to get John back to her. It's really like how you made his kidnapping a reverse of what happened in the Ramayana with Sita...very clever! The only thing I can think of to possibly consider changing is the color and font of the words. The bright red on a black screen is very hard, for me at least, to read. If you could make it a bit of a deeper read, it may help a bit. Also, if you could space out the lines of text a bit, I think it would help not cram everything so close together. Just a thought! Great job though! I really enjoyed your stories and I can't wait to see how it ends!
Hey Michaela! Having gone through this class, I've noticed there is a lot of similarities between Indian epics and other mythologies. This is one of the reasons I wanted to explore more about what you were writing! At first look, I think your website fits your story perfectly! From the color scheme to the font, you did a really great job of creating this atmosphere for the Grimm brothers. I love how you made the narrator an extra character who gets to experience the story at his own pace. I thought it was interesting how you decided to put a twist to the original Grimm brother story by making their sister the hero. One of my favorite sections was in "DIsaster #2: Draupadi's Quandary" when the narrator was telling us that Draupadi and him were planning together. I liked this particular paragraph because this was one of the first times that showed that he isn't just an observer. I can't wait to read more!
Hello Micheala! Loved the next attachment to your story book! I love how John and Charlotte finally found each other! I was beginning to think they would be able to find one another until the very end of the class. I thought this story had more humor in it then previous ones so I enjoyed that! I also thought it was a little shorter than others but I think you were just setting up for bigger story in the next few weeks!
Hey Micheala! I just got done reading your first story! I really enjoyed it a lot! I like that you added Lakshmana's boasting and allowed for the it to be so easily ignored. Your details allow for characterization to be easy and simple. Small gestures and vocals allow for the characters to be incredibly easy to differentiate between each other. I adore the last comment from Charlotte as well about how John would lose his head if it weren't attached to his shoulders. I also enjoyed his comment about Hanuman. I think you are doing a wonderful job with this story and I can't wait to read more of your work as you story continues! Great job!
Hey, back again! Can't wait for the last story in your storybook! I just have to say going back and reading the stories again, I really love all of the pictures you picked for the stories! They're all very nice and evocative for your stories! I also love all of the titles you picked! Especially Ganesh's Headache, that is just such a perfect title with its sly humor! Really love your interpretation of the characters from the epics too! I like seeing the chatty Lakshmana and brave Draupadi and Bhima! I kind of wish we could see some things from the point of view of Charlotte's brothers too! I kind of wonder what they're doing while Charlotte is busy saving everyone, haha. I understand that they're not really the stars of this storybook but maybe something about what they're up to or how they (however slightly) contribute would be nice! Anyway, still eagerly waiting for the last story and really love your concept and storybook!
Hello again. You really have done some very interesting things with your storybook and I'm excited to see where you take it in the end. I'll definitely stop by to see what happens. I want to specifically mention the pictures and source materials you've chosen to work and I think they've been great choices for your materials so very well done on that front. You do humor in your pieces really well as well. It's muted but still plays out very well and you're writing style blends very well with the idea of the narrative in each of your pieces. You stay pretty true to the source material and personally I think you could deviate a little bit more but that's mainly a personal choice. As it stands, you do an excellent homage to the original sources. Very well done and I hope you have a good rest of the semester!
Hello Michaela! I’m aback again to read your final story to your story post! I thought it was awesome! I really loved the humor in this last addition. I like how this last story starred Charlotte more than John. I thought that was a great decision saying in which the whole story he claimed that Charlotte was way more intelligent than he was when solving problems. So I appreciate you doing this in the last part of the story. The choice to have Kali be the main character of your last crisis good because this story is a very interesting story in its self and Charlotte fit in great with the overall story. Then to make all of the stories connect to a high arching entity was a good way to end it. As far as your authors notes think you ended it well since you were able to finish up all the stories and connect them to each other while also being able to bring it back to the Brother’s Grim at the very end of all it! Great job on all of your stories I really enjoyed your storybook this semester!!
I really enjoyed this whole portfolio. It's interesting to see how you combined two really different sources or inspirations (the Brothers Grimm and the Indian epics). The collections of Bidpai tales or Jataka tales are probably the closest equivalent India has to the Brothers Grimm collections. I really liked getting to see the perspective of someone who's pretty much an outsider to Indian culture. The only thing that I think could be improved is the ending. It would be interesting to hear how John's life has changed after going through these adventures. Did he become famous like the Brothers Grimm? Was he invited to speak in lectures on Indian "mythology"? Overall, I think this was a really strong storybook. The protagonist has a really distinctive voice and the story as a whole flows really smoothly. It's too bad there isn't more time to add chapters to this storybook this year.
I don't know if the current picture that is up on your main storybook page has always been there or if I have commented on it before, but I really love your main picture! It is absolutely beautiful. I wanted to come back to your page because I really loved the idea you have about mixing the brothers Grimm stories with Indian epics. I think it is just such a unique idea! I know I've already said that in one of my other posts, but I wanted to say it again. I love the nonchalant attitude of your stories. You're just like some bimbo did this stupid thing, and now everyone is dying! Haha you make it all just sound so inconvenient for the main character. Its pretty entertaining. I really enjoyed reading your stories this semester and I wish you the best of luck in all of your studies!
Hi Michaela! Wow I am so excited for your storybook! It looks like you’ve done this before. What a great idea to tie in the Brothers Grimm and the Indian Epics. I enjoy mixing and matching stories to complete one world. I read through your story with ease. The font and color of your text was creative without being distracting. I cannot wait for the future stories. I’m glad you tied in your other Storybook characters. You’ve connected with them already so the voice in your writing is strong. Are you going to stick with stories from the Ramayana and the Mahabharata or will you explore other characters and stories as well? I’m honestly trying to think of something to suggest changing but I don’t have any suggestions at this point. Maybe title the Introduction post as Introduction? That was the only thing that kind of confused me a bit when I initially entered your site but other than that I don’t have any suggestions. Great job and I can’t wait to read more!!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you created a thread between western fairytales/epics and Indian ones. It's interesting that you created another character who doesn't feel entirely up to the task of helping some ancient royalty. Protagonists wary to help are often more fascinating than characters who are basically superhuman (such as Rama). I would suggest changing the order of the first story so that the protagonist describes his being kidnapped before he goes into the background of his family. It would help create tension. Right now, the family background doesn't really catch my interest me like a kidnapping would. In terms of the design of your website, I'd highly recommend changing the color of the font you use in the story, as well as the type of font. The red font is really difficult to read and it kind of strains my eyes. A parchment-color background would help if you were to change the font color.
ReplyDeleteHi Michaela! I enjoy the way in which you write. Your style of writing is similar to the way we talk and therefore it makes following your story very easy. I have never heard or seen the show The Grimm Brothers before but I am very intrigued as to how you will adapt your story to the original show. Although this is not a romance story, I wonder how Charlotte and John met in the first place since Charlotte would usually be out cleaning up the mess of her brothers. Did John also fight monsters before he met Charlotte? Maybe you could add a little more of a backstory as to how they came to meet each other. This would also help to provide a more in depth backstory of who John is as a person. Now some critiques on the layout of your storybook. The red font against the black background was a bit straining on the eyes. I understand you are trying to create an ominous feel so maybe you could change the red into a lighter red? That way you still keep with the red theme you have going on but there will be more of a contrast so it will be easier on the eyes. With that being said, overall, I like the way you decided to start your storybook. I look forward to watching you expand on it.
ReplyDeleteHello Micheal!
ReplyDeleteI really like your first part of your story book! The cover picture was very cool and put me into the mindset that I was about to embark on an amazing adventure! That being said I loved the way you set up your main character in your story where he had a back ground with the Grimm Brothers. That give you the perfect experience to help all of the hero's that you want John to help in the rest of your story! The dialog that was shown in this was awesome! Without actually having any adventures yet you have already expressed at least how Rama and Lakshmana are going to act throughout this story! This leads me to wonder what kind of roll the Pandavas brothers are going to have to beat Ravanna in this storybook? I also have thoughts of how Johns wife will impact this story? Maybe she will give them ideas of how to get into his castle or maybe even being the person to dig them out of the castle in they get trapped in it! You left me with a lot of question which I am excited to find out! Awesome job!
First of all, I absolutely love the picture that you have on the cover of your storybook! It is beautiful! Second of all, I love how you took the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm and combined them with the stories of Rama and his brothers. I think it is a very unique combination and I am excited to read more and see how you combine the two styles of adventures. While I am reading your intro I am having a hard time figuring out if you are telling it from the point of view of a character that is already in the stories or if you are telling it from the point of view of an entirely new character. I haven't read on in your stories so I don't know if you explain who your character is or not but, while I like the secrecy of not completely telling who a character is, a little clarification may be helpful. Otherwise I felt that your story was fun and playful and I really enjoyed it! Looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteMichaela, this sounds like a great idea! I am excited to see where you end up taking this story and I really like the framework you have provided. I am interested to see how the story within a story theme plays out and I am curious to see if this will become a story about passing several trials to achieve the ultimate goal of finding Charlotte, or if this will become a story about Charlotte finding the narrator, or if it will become something entirely different. I wonder if you might be able to make a map of all the adventures that the narrator goes on, just something that could indicate where the narrator is versus where Charlotte is. That seems a bit complicated, but it was just this idea that dawned on me after reading your introduction. What if you could find a way to further incorporate your previous storybook into this one?
ReplyDeleteYour name is alliterated and that is neat. Are you sure you weren't created by Stan Lee? If you have superpowers you might want to check.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of confused about one thing. I'm 99% sure I know what's going on, but I just want to check. The link to your other storybook was from the other mythology class right? I can't imagine you just made one for funzies.
The use of Lakshmana as John's foil is pretty good. Are the Pandavas going to help with the war on Ravana too? I read it as them being at the same camp together.
Going off these comments, I think most people didn't hop over to your older site to read it. You might want to move the link higher. Obviously, another idea is do some sort of recap. The struggle is doing that without it sounding like John is spouting exposition. You did put hyperlinks in there, but it seems like maybe everyone didn't use them.
I didn't get through all your old stories, but were there any villains there that could track John to this new world too? The only reason I ask is because a villain of that world thinking he's the big bad then standing before celestial beings would be pretty funny. Like if Mr. Hyde bumped into Superman.
I really liked how the theme of your storybook went with the theme of your entire page. I am looking forward to reading more of yours stories! I have been reading your stories that you post on your blogs, and absolutely love them. I am expecting the same from your project, and I know for a fact that I won't be disappointing. I find the topic to be incredibly intriguing as well! I would never have thought to put together something like you did! It is incredibly unique. I always enjoy how you bring everything together in a story, I find that everything falls into place and even clarifies what the original often does not. Will you be using any of the past ideas from your old stories and adding them to your new stores? I am very excited to see where your website goes as it continues. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey, Michaela,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your intro post, “Not Quite Brothers”, I’m definitely on board to hear more about what happens to the third kind-of-Brother Grimm among the Indian heroes. (I hope I get to see Charlotte in the first story!) I thought it was funny that John Grimm knows he’s out of his depth coming up against a whole army of demons. This is a neat choice for a story swap, and I’m excited to see what how Grimm’s stories play into the Indian epics we’ve been reading. The main thing that might help me track with your introduction would be a more careful sense of chronology. Often, when we have a story, an essay, or a character already formulated in our heads, we accidentally take that knowledge for granted and forget to bring the reader in one step at a time.
For example, your third sentence: “My name was John Christiansen, but I took the Grimm surname when WE married”. Since Charlotte doesn’t appear for two more sentences, I don’t know who “we” is yet. You might include that information here instead, and say something like: “…when I married their little sister Charlotte.” Then, when you continue to lay out family dynamics, I’m already clued in to the different relationships.
In your third, fourth, and fifth paragraphs, the jump from “I was kidnapped, now I’m surrounded by these weird people” to “apparently they need my help” and then BACK to “the last thing I remember” is a little counter-intuitive for me. You might want to start with “The last thing I remember…” and then move onto who he’s surrounded by and what they want.
Thanks for the story; I’m looking forward to reading more!
Hi again! Wow, what a storybook intro! I'm looking forward to checking back in and reading more of it as you work on the whole project more!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the almost stream-of-consciousness style of writing that you put forth here. It was a quick, hurried, semi-crazed read that sets up a pretty good tone for what John's probably feeling as an abducted Watson figure to Charlotte's sherlock character. I agree with Grant, a bit, however, that it would probably be a good idea to somehow ease the reader into these ideas a little bit. Or maybe that's the point, shock value of all these crazy stories about Rama and Lakshmana and Arjuna, and then you'll expound on it later in the project? It would be an effective style if that's what you're aiming for. I am familiar with all of the stories you were referencing, but I found myself squinting one eye closed and thinking back pretty hard to place some of the stories into the references that you were throwing out there. On the other hand, though, it was really neat to see how well you meshed nearly everything we've read so far in the semester into one world, and create John's character. I'm excited to see how Charlotte comes into play here. You'll left us with a great cliff-hanger!
Hey, I am just replying to your comment that you left on my introduction. Yeah I just tried to put everything down that I could think of and that I liked. I have onyl traveled to India, Canada, and Bahamas. I am trying to visit more hopefully soon, but we shall see what happens. I actually did not know that but it does make sense. I just didn't think about it at all.
ReplyDeleteHey I really enjoyed reading your storybook. It was very interesting and unique, and I particularly liked that you combined both American and Indian stories to create your own. Plus your story would help the readers understand from an outsiders point of view,since John was an outsider too. It was good how you had all of the heros in one space as well, like rama, lakshamana, ajrun and his brothers. It would be easy to get them all mixed up if you are hearing about them for the first time but I really like your idea of having an outsider helping them all in their own stories. I think it might have helped someone if you added descriptions in your story. This way they could see exactly what you were seeing when your wrote the story. It was great how you put everything together and I look forward to reading about Charlotte and how she adds to this equation.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, at first I couldn't tell where your were going with the your storybook but the more I read the more I understood where you were coming from. I have to agree with everyone else in that combining western culture stories with Indian stories is very clever. The black and red color scheme of your site almost seems daunting but your writing is very bubbly and humorous at times. I like how you changed the font as you go from Charlotte's point of view to Johns. It makes is much easier to follow the story line.
ReplyDeleteYour site is easily naviagable. You may want to try and center your picture of Ravana, not sure if you meant to align it with your story or not.
It will be interesting to see how John makes it home.. or if he makes it home at all! I will just have to come back to find out.
Hi again! I already commented on your intro but I'm glad I got to go to your storybook again this week because I was really looking forward to your next story. First off, I want to start with your author’s note! It was really helpful in understanding how you adapted the story. I’m glad you explained the last section going back to Charlotte’s voice in search of her husband. This might be clearer if in that last section you explained she had made it to India because I was a little confused when she said “here” because while reading from Josh’s perspective I forgot that the beginning said she was about to land. Also maybe labeling “Charlotte Grimm:” like you did at the top would make it even clearer. As for the story, you did a great rendition. I enjoyed how you had Josh be a major part of Rama’s fulfillment of his destiny. It’s kind of funny thinking that maybe Rama wouldn’t have won if it weren’t for Josh’s secret help! Great story and I can’t wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHey Michaela! I knew it was you immediately as soon as I started reading! I am glad to have another person that took Myth and Folklore last semester here. Your stories last semester were so creative and fun, so I am ecstatic to read some more this semester. Your introduction does a great job of trying to bring in material from last semesters’ Storybook and where John will be going on his new adventures. I liked that you decided to tie your two worlds together and that you had a link at the bottom of your Introduction. A few people have mentioned moving the link, but I think that the hyperlinks in your introduction do a good job of giving the hint this is from a previous project. I would try and tighten up the storyline a little near the end of the introduction however. It does get a little rambly for the readers, so I would pick and choose which comments about the campsite are most important and then go from there! I loved the photos you chose for the home page and I cannot wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteThe title of your storybook is what initially drew me in. I love the Brothers Grimm and all of their stories. Likewise, I really enjoyed your first story.
ReplyDeleteThe theme of your storybook is very unique, and full of possibilities. I particularly liked how you incorporated John into the battle with Ravana because I always wondered how such a feared demon King was defeated so easily once his army was out of the way. I had similar feelings about the battle between Arjuna and Karna, so maybe that could be another story. There is so much build up to a quick death. I only noticed a few typos in your story. In the second paragraph of John's part, you misspell Lanka Lanak. Also, you say Rama was "secreted" away into his tent. I'm not sure what you meant by this word. Maybe you meant in secret, but this word choice makes me think of secretion instead.
I really liked the title of your storybook and theme. It immediately drew me in and I was interested from the start. I liked the battle with John and Ravana and any more details you would like to add would strengthen the story itself. As far as other edits for the story, I was only able to notice a few spelling and punctuation errors but those can be easily fixed by one more proofreading out loud. I think that your author's note was extremely helpful in making all of the connections and making everything seem even more clear. One aspect that I really liked was that Charlotte and Johns point of view were signified by a different font. I found it easier to follow with the change in font when a different person is speaking. I also loved the photos that you chose and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteI chose your storybook again for my third option because I just loved the idea you came up with and I really wanted to see more of how you tied the Brothers Grimm stories into the Indian epics! Going to your second story I really love how you have a small part from the point of view of the sister. And just from the first line of it I think I already know which story you are going to be using for this! Or at least what story it came after. I also really like and appreciate the fact that you name who it is that we are reading the point of view from. I remember I said something about having a problem figuring out who was speaking in my last comment. I love the way you write too! Its like we are just sitting in and listening to the thoughts of someone, which is kind of cool to me! Excellent job, can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteLoved the new story. It was a nice touch to keep Charlotte involved in her own way. Tying it together with a prophecy was good too. I'm curious to see if he'll see any crazy magical stuff. Guys moving mountains, stepping over oceans, shooting an arrow around the world etc. I also hope you manage to squeeze a comedy-horror story somehow! I liked the stories on your other blog and I dug those.
ReplyDeleteHello Michaela! Want to start off this commit by saying sorry for botching up your name in the first commit that I left on this wall a few weeks ago! Now that I got that out of the way I really enjoyed the second attachment to this storybook! The new version of the story about Rama and Ravana was great I really love John in your story. You give him a very unique personality that I really enjoy. I like how you only showed the backstage of the entire battle instead of focusing on the parts that everyone in the class knows already. I thought it was very clever that you had John sneak into the palace and do a few adjustments to Ravana’s chariot and armor. Along with a lot of humor in the mix of the story made this a very interesting read for me. Great job and can’t wait to read the rest of the storybook.
ReplyDeleteThis StoryBook is getting soooooo good! Thanks for the excellent writing! I have a small struggle in keeping up with this part from Rama's problems: "I can say the demon overlord snores like a thunderstorm. I could probably race a chariot through the room and he wouldn’t so much as snort. Which gave me an idea… unfortunately, I couldn’t enact it immediately because the doorknob started to rattle. Furthermore, the freaking servant stayed in the room until after dawn and the war began anyway. However, Ravana did not join the fighting so I formulated a plan."
ReplyDeleteSo, He's in the room... and then the servant comes into the room? And John's stuck, now, because he can't leave because the servant is keeping guard? This was a little confusing. So, now John is sneaking around Ravana's castle/camp and messing with things while the war gets started? I am just looking for a timeframe + where John is clarity marker here.
Rama's Problem is really, really good! I appreciated that we know that Charlotte's begun the hunt, which was very cool to read, and I liked how you just had John retell the battle as it was told to him by Lakshamana (naturally). It was a really clever idea to have it foretold in a prophecy that a foreigner would help in the battle, and John's helping to fulfill the gods' destinies!
Draupadi’s Quandry:
We’re* just about to arrive in the city of Virata…. Small spelling mistake there. This story is really, really great! I loved that you highlighted this troublesome plot whole and scapegoated John for the whole thing. Where does he go? Is this his escape? What happens next?! You've definitely left me wanting to read more!
I tend to like diary and memoir format adaptations of the epics we've been reading in class and this was no exception. It reads like a novelization of the events in the Mahabharata. I can imagine, say, Arjuna writing about his experiences and providing it with a lyricism of language that the prose versions sometimes lacked.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job of providing the personal perspective of each character. I doubt it was easy sewing together all the perspectives and stories of these numerous characters.
The only significant suggestion that I would make is to provide a greater degree of separation between the sections in the first chapter, "Arjuna." Although there are suggestive statements like "Abhimanyu is ten," it's not always clear exactly how much time has passed between the different sections.
Overall, though, I think this is an excellent storybook. I can't wait to read more when you add to it.
Hello again.
ReplyDeleteThis week I skimmed over your previous stories that I have read before to freshen my memory before I started in on Draupadi's Quandary and I like how we are following John's adventure through the Indian epic stories. I also like how we know just how close charlotte is to John but she is always just one town too late. Once thing that is kind of hard to follow is that Charlotte and John have different last names so sometimes I forget that she is John's husband. It is also kind of funny because John is acting like the damsel in distress, waiting for his wife to save him but he does nothing what so ever to help her! I want to be like dude! Leave some kind of trail behind or make a signal or something!
I might suggest naming/ labeling your stories with a chapter 1, and so on, and so on. This just helps the reader know if they are reading the story in the correct order.
Back again for round 3!! This is by far my favorite storybook! Your third attachment was awesome! I had been waiting for the Pandavas brothers to make an appearance in the story. I really liked the choice of the story that you did! Bhima I my favorite character that we as a class have read together. The way you use John in this story to be the escape goat I thought was great instead of just keeping to the original story. I enjoy how you are able to add John’s humor throughout the story it makes it really interesting to see how he is able to flawlessly stumble his way out on sticky situations in your stories. At the end of this story I am interested to see how the story is going to end and whether or not Charlotte is going to be able to ever find John. I am kind of half hoping that somehow all of the main characters will be together at one time so that they can all team up and take out the some kind of evil. Might be really cool to see all of these great heroes come together and have them all shown up by Charlotte and John! Anyways I really enjoyed it! Will be back next week!
ReplyDelete"Rama's Problem" is a great second installment in your storybook. The outsider's take that John Christiansen provides is great, and full of nice touches. (I especially like this passage: "Everything has to be done with honor and dignity and whatnot. So that means Rama is preparing for war and the army is getting drunk on rice-honey wine.") Overall, John's tone and attitude are fantastic, really well developed. Having him secretly rig the wheels on Ravana's chariot is a great addition to the original story, too: it provides a character-driven explanation for what is otherwise just random chance and bad luck. I think your framing device holds up pretty well, too! Having him dropped off at the hut again will let you branch out into other stories. Well-transitioned! At the end of it all, he's "back to square one".
ReplyDeleteJust one spot you might want to revisit: John hears the doorknob rattle, and then says, "Furthermore, the freaking servant stayed in the room". But the reader didn't know a servant ("THE servant") had entered in the first place. A quick fix would be to add a phrase: "the freaking servant WHO CAME IN stayed in the room..."
I like John and Charlotte's relationship more and more all the time. Can't wait to read more!
I’m really enjoying your storybook so far! The approach that you are taking is different than most of the other stories I’ve been reading. I like that you are using the original characters from the epics and changing up the points of view that the stories are told from. It was really fun to read. I also liked how you poked fun at some of the elements of epics, such as how difficult of a word “Rakshasas” is and how Rama’s army was comprised of monkeys and bears. These ideas were so commonplace in the original epics, I thought it was fun that you had a character stop and question them. That was a creative idea and it added some comedy! I like the personalities that your characters are developing. They are a little sassy and that makes it even more fun to read. You are doing an awesome job so far. I can’t wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteI am shocked that I haven't had the opportunity to read this storybook yet so I am absolutely thrilled to experience it this week! To start, I just wanted to compliment the picture you decided to use for your cover. It's crazy to think places like this actually exist so it's always nice getting to experience the beauty of our earth. I read all three of your passages and I loved them! My favorite story was easily the Bhima story simply because he was one of my favorite characters from the epic! It's always nice to get to read story about him! To add to my appreciation for the story, it happened to include one of my favorite plot points from the epic! The story was everything that I enjoy from reading all of these posts with its own unique element. Overall, I really enjoy the approach you are using for your storybook and I'm excited to see the finished product around the time of the end of the semester. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI love the Sister Grimm idea haha! I need to find some time to check out your earlier storybook now! Poor John and Charlotte though! They just can't seem to catch a break. I love the way John solves all the problems and seems to just impulsively run into situations. If only Charlotte were there to help him! I also really like the situations you chose to put him in because they all seemed like believably solvable things for a normal human. The way you alternated from Charlotte's point of view and John's point of view was really nice too! I liked seeing Charlotte's quest to get John back. I'm also really excited for the next story! Kali sounds like an interesting goddess and I would love to see what adventures they'll get up to together. Just one aesthetic comment, the red on black is a little harsh at times and makes it slightly difficult to read for me, but it's not too important! Overall great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Michaela,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your story book “My Brothers Grimm: India Edition” and I thought it was pretty entertaining. I would like to start my commenting with my number one complaint regarding your story: the red font. I am not a fan of this color for font because it made the story so difficult to read. I found myself trying so hard to concentrate that I was neglecting to actually retain anything that I have read. This caused me to go back and re-read the same sentence multiple times in order to get the content. I think a normal white background and black font would be better suited for your story book. Other than the font this story was very entertaining. I would have liked to hear more about the different adventures John and Charlotte had while saving her brothers from danger. Grammatically speaking this was a very well written paper.
Hey, Michaela! Glad to catch up with your storybook again this week. Here are a few thoughts I had on Disaster #2:
ReplyDelete“his ‘beloved’ sister”—a good insight into what might have been going on there. Why would the queen feel so compelled to send Draupadi to him, if not partially out of fear? Your character’s casual fly-on-the-wall comments help fill in a lot of gaps in motivations.
“Honestly, I just wanted to talk, but what is it they say about the best laid plans? Charlotte probably knows.” Love to see that you’re keeping up this kind of humor! Perfect call-back with Charlotte’s note at the end. I think it teeters on heavy-handed in the next paragraph, though; I would hope our hero would keep at least a scrap of bravado, even if he recognizes that Charlotte is Some Kind of Woman.
I think you chose a great story to retell. I remember reading the Mahabharata and feeling dissatisfied with the explanation for how Bhima managed to get away with that murder. (Wouldn’t there be a full investigation of all the burly men in the palace, especially those who had only been there a year?) Again, John really is a great device smoothing out plot wrinkles. Good thinking!
Hi Michaela! Wow, this went in a totally different direction than I anticipated. I initially thought it would be about Grimmm fairy tales (and of course there are pieces of Grimm in your version) but I loved the creativity in your storybook! I'm really confused though. Is your storybook based off of another storybook and acting as a sort of continuation? I love the extra humor that the step-brother brings to the world of the Ramayana. "Don’t judge me. Charlotte is at least ninety percent of my impulse control." LOL love it. I also like how in the first story, you not only describe the scene that John's trying to deal with, you also give an update on Charlotte's end. The third story was also really great. How the two go back and forth trying to find each other was so perfect!
ReplyDeleteIt's so strange how a weird bird decided to take him on this journey. Perhaps the next chapters will tell something about why he was taken?
Hi Michaela! I really like that you are writing your storybook in a fairytale sort of fashion! I always loved reading fairytales when I was growing up, so it's a lot of fun getting to read your Indian epics version. I think that this is a great way to think about the Indian epics differently. It's easy to read them and only see them the way that the author wrote, but by switching things up it's easy to see them from different sides. I really enjoy how you have included what Charlotte is doing to get John back to her. It's really like how you made his kidnapping a reverse of what happened in the Ramayana with Sita...very clever! The only thing I can think of to possibly consider changing is the color and font of the words. The bright red on a black screen is very hard, for me at least, to read. If you could make it a bit of a deeper read, it may help a bit. Also, if you could space out the lines of text a bit, I think it would help not cram everything so close together. Just a thought! Great job though! I really enjoyed your stories and I can't wait to see how it ends!
ReplyDeleteHey Michaela! Having gone through this class, I've noticed there is a lot of similarities between Indian epics and other mythologies. This is one of the reasons I wanted to explore more about what you were writing!
ReplyDeleteAt first look, I think your website fits your story perfectly! From the color scheme to the font, you did a really great job of creating this atmosphere for the Grimm brothers.
I love how you made the narrator an extra character who gets to experience the story at his own pace. I thought it was interesting how you decided to put a twist to the original Grimm brother story by making their sister the hero. One of my favorite sections was in "DIsaster #2: Draupadi's Quandary" when the narrator was telling us that Draupadi and him were planning together. I liked this particular paragraph because this was one of the first times that showed that he isn't just an observer. I can't wait to read more!
Hello Micheala! Loved the next attachment to your story book! I love how John and Charlotte finally found each other! I was beginning to think they would be able to find one another until the very end of the class. I thought this story had more humor in it then previous ones so I enjoyed that! I also thought it was a little shorter than others but I think you were just setting up for bigger story in the next few weeks!
ReplyDeleteHey Micheala! I just got done reading your first story! I really enjoyed it a lot! I like that you added Lakshmana's boasting and allowed for the it to be so easily ignored. Your details allow for characterization to be easy and simple. Small gestures and vocals allow for the characters to be incredibly easy to differentiate between each other. I adore the last comment from Charlotte as well about how John would lose his head if it weren't attached to his shoulders. I also enjoyed his comment about Hanuman. I think you are doing a wonderful job with this story and I can't wait to read more of your work as you story continues! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey, back again! Can't wait for the last story in your storybook! I just have to say going back and reading the stories again, I really love all of the pictures you picked for the stories! They're all very nice and evocative for your stories! I also love all of the titles you picked! Especially Ganesh's Headache, that is just such a perfect title with its sly humor! Really love your interpretation of the characters from the epics too! I like seeing the chatty Lakshmana and brave Draupadi and Bhima! I kind of wish we could see some things from the point of view of Charlotte's brothers too! I kind of wonder what they're doing while Charlotte is busy saving everyone, haha. I understand that they're not really the stars of this storybook but maybe something about what they're up to or how they (however slightly) contribute would be nice! Anyway, still eagerly waiting for the last story and really love your concept and storybook!
ReplyDeleteHello again. You really have done some very interesting things with your storybook and I'm excited to see where you take it in the end. I'll definitely stop by to see what happens. I want to specifically mention the pictures and source materials you've chosen to work and I think they've been great choices for your materials so very well done on that front. You do humor in your pieces really well as well. It's muted but still plays out very well and you're writing style blends very well with the idea of the narrative in each of your pieces. You stay pretty true to the source material and personally I think you could deviate a little bit more but that's mainly a personal choice. As it stands, you do an excellent homage to the original sources. Very well done and I hope you have a good rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHello Michaela! I’m aback again to read your final story to your story post! I thought it was awesome! I really loved the humor in this last addition. I like how this last story starred Charlotte more than John. I thought that was a great decision saying in which the whole story he claimed that Charlotte was way more intelligent than he was when solving problems. So I appreciate you doing this in the last part of the story. The choice to have Kali be the main character of your last crisis good because this story is a very interesting story in its self and Charlotte fit in great with the overall story. Then to make all of the stories connect to a high arching entity was a good way to end it. As far as your authors notes think you ended it well since you were able to finish up all the stories and connect them to each other while also being able to bring it back to the Brother’s Grim at the very end of all it! Great job on all of your stories I really enjoyed your storybook this semester!!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this whole portfolio. It's interesting to see how you combined two really different sources or inspirations (the Brothers Grimm and the Indian epics). The collections of Bidpai tales or Jataka tales are probably the closest equivalent India has to the Brothers Grimm collections. I really liked getting to see the perspective of someone who's pretty much an outsider to Indian culture. The only thing that I think could be improved is the ending. It would be interesting to hear how John's life has changed after going through these adventures. Did he become famous like the Brothers Grimm? Was he invited to speak in lectures on Indian "mythology"? Overall, I think this was a really strong storybook. The protagonist has a really distinctive voice and the story as a whole flows really smoothly. It's too bad there isn't more time to add chapters to this storybook this year.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if the current picture that is up on your main storybook page has always been there or if I have commented on it before, but I really love your main picture! It is absolutely beautiful. I wanted to come back to your page because I really loved the idea you have about mixing the brothers Grimm stories with Indian epics. I think it is just such a unique idea! I know I've already said that in one of my other posts, but I wanted to say it again. I love the nonchalant attitude of your stories. You're just like some bimbo did this stupid thing, and now everyone is dying! Haha you make it all just sound so inconvenient for the main character. Its pretty entertaining. I really enjoyed reading your stories this semester and I wish you the best of luck in all of your studies!
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